Once Upon a Time AU || Mr. Gold’s memories
i. she’s a funny girl
Anabelle French was the town librarian, and the town pariah. No one understood her, no one wanted to understand her, not even her own father. She was the nicest person in town, never had a bad thing to say about anyone, maybe she was a bit strange with her habit of wearing wigs even if she had no need to, but they still gave her strange glances because she was just too weird for them. It never bothered her, she knew the reason behind all of looks, and she figured that to be hated for something being hated for loving the “wrong” person was well worth it.
Because, instead of falling in love with the quarterback in her senior year of high school, who later died in a tragic car accident, she fell in love with the man that everyone in town feared.
ii. for who could ever love a beast?
He would insist that he paid her to love him, she would smack him on the arm and say that she fell in love with his hidden charms. She said that it didn’t matter to her that he practically owned her father, that was her father’s business - not hers, she was with the man she loved and that’s all that mattered to her.
He didn’t understand it, she deserved better than him. But love is never about deserving, it’s about what you want. And she, for some reason, wanted him.
iii. it’s forever, dearie
She knew about the ring, she knew that it had been sitting in his pocket for six months, and she knew that he couldn’t get up the courage to just ask her. So when he finally got around to asking her while she was sitting on his bed, she answered him with a kiss.
iv. he had her love, and he shut her out
Her father didn’t take the news well, he could handle what he thought was a simple fling but when it was proven to be otherwise he refused to accept it.
The demand was simple. All he wanted was for her to choose between two things, and he wanted her to choose correctly, him or her fiance.
Her decision of the both of them wasn’t good enough for him, he threw her out by the end of the night. If she was going to choose his enemy then how could she be his daughter?
v. and do you promise to take this man to be your husband, and love him for all eternity?
They were married in a small ceremony a few months after the fall out with her father, only three of her closest friends were there. She wore a white dress simply because she wanted something normal in her life for once.
At the reception, if it could even be called that, she accidentally broke a cup that was part of his antique china set, but it was only just a cup, nothing more.
vi. the pitter-patter of little feet
She wasn’t sure what to say to him when she found out about the baby, they’d only been married for ten months when she found out. It was her little secret for a week, until she blurted it out one day in his shop. She was surprised when he was overjoyed by their expected arrival.
The next few months saw them fixing up a nursery and preparing for the arrival of their baby.
vii. she died…
She was six and a half months along when it happened, she had been waiting for him at a costume party and the pains began just after he had called her and told her that he would be later than he planned. She couldn’t help but checking then and there, and when she pulled her fingers up and saw the blood she passed out cold.
When she woke up she was in a hospital bed, and her husband was sitting in a chair next to her bed. The look on his face was the only confirmation she needed, their baby girl was dead.
viii. and all you’ll have is an empty heart
They stopped talking after the loss, the silence evolved into yelling and slamming doors until eventually there was nothing left to do or say. It was just emptiness. They didn’t blame each other, but they couldn’t get the words out to say it.
They were living in a silent home with broken hearts and neither knew how to fix it.
ix. and a chipped cup
She left when the silence became to deafening to bear any longer. She snuck out while he was at work, the library had been closed since the baby had died so she had no need to worry about that.
She left the cup she had broken on the coffee table, hoping that he would understand that she just wanted out for a short time, she would be back soon enough, but she just needed some space. And she decided Boston was far enough away to make that space.
But as she approached the borders of Storybrooke, David Nolan’s SUV crashed into the back of hers. Her body was thrown from the car, she was dead long before anyone found her there, and David Nolan went missing.
x. remembering is the worst curse
Everyone blamed him. He knew they did, they would whisper and say that he must have paid David Nolan to crash into his wife’s car, it would explain why he went missing as if he never existed, or that it was such a shame that she didn’t have the foresight to leave earlier when all of this could be avoided.
He closed down the library, it didn’t seem right for anyone but Belle to be running it. He just went along with his everyday life, the death of his wife hanging over him like a cloud as he held onto every little memory of her that he could. But none of the memories seemed right, they were too real, too artificial, too cardboard cutout of a life that should have been, but he knew they were real, he had lived them.
After her death they joked that the town was cursed, that no one would ever be able to leave, but he was the cursed one, he remembered her and everything he had done wrong to lead her to her death. And he was left in a tomb of a pink house, with a chipped cup and an empty heart filled with his own regrets.
AHHHH THIS IS SO AMAZING!! -sobs in the corner-